Taco Bell

Within the context of “drive thru fast fud,” Taco Bell is royalty. There is one thing on their menu that I can eat: I think it’s the 7 Layer or something like that: vegetable-y matter in a tortilla with a shot of sour cream (or similar) and cheese (or similar).

Beats the hell of out McD’s or any other Meat Hut With Driveway ... but that’s not saying much. And there’s those pesky Pepsi products as well. Sierra Mist? Hello?

I have a confession to make. I have a soft spot in my heart (and thus, probably another in my head) for Taco Bell. Often I have wondered if the surgeons who removed my appendix didn’t spend an extra hour applying a Rhino Lining to my stomach while I was out cold.

Unlike cmorgan, I prefer their ground beef concoctions to the mysteriously dry shreds of cardboard that they sell as “steak”, and to the recycled artgum erasers masquerading as “chicken”. In fact, I wish they’d bring the Chilito back to this area, despite its well-known tendency to make customers run for the border. Only heightened concern over Advanced Meat Recovery techniques has managed to quash my occasional cravings for Taco Hell.

Taco Bell assets: hot sauce, large-size drink fits in German cupholders, the Choco-Taco, plastic sporks.

Taco Bell liabilities: food

-dave

What, you want me to elaborate on a rating of zero?

Ever since discovering the 60 cent nachos or whatever they were at the time back in middle school I have loved Taco Bell. I’ve eaten there more times than is probably healthy, despite knowing someone who used to work at one and hearing horror stories. Granted there are some items I won’t go near, particularly anything involving their version of “beef,” but I’ve never had anything horrible happen to me after eating their steak or chicken items. If you go here expecting mexican food, or even food at all, you deserve what you get, but if you’re not fooling yourself it’s all good. Really.

The first time I went to a taco bell was in late 1993 at 10pm some cold winter evening. It scared me so much that the only thing I could eat was a choc-o-taco ice cream novelty. So there. the first ’taco’ of my life was a chocotaco in 1993. I did eat once or twice at the engineering bldg taco bell when they started taking food service cards and I was desperate. Chicken soft tacos- where the meat is cubed and the vegetable matter is in strips.

Blecch.